Welcome to the show! Have you run into any of these people calling themselves Pilgrims who recently landed here in a boat called the Mayflower? Talk about a clueless crew. No “Hello,” no “How are you?” Just “How do we grow corn?” They didn’t teach you that in Pilgrim 101? …

Welcome to the show! I’m sure you’ve all heard about this new thing called the telephone. It’s a machine that actually allows you to talk with another person at another location. It’s kind of like smoke signals that don’t sting your eyes. I could really use one of these. My…

Good evening. Did you hear about the guy in Mesopotamia who invented something called the wheel? It’s a round wooden disk that he claims will make life less unbearable. Hey, if it can stop my wife from complaining about being eaten alive by wild animals, I’m all for it. They…

Real quick thoughts · Being able to hold in gas during your wedding vows should be considered a super power. · If one person is talking on the phone while having sex, is it considered a threesome? · Being on the second-string team is still better than being on the…

The steady stream of books written about Donald J. Trump continue to shock and amaze a public now accustomed to being shocked and amazed. Here are a few more mind-boggling facts that, let’s face it, probably won’t surprise you. · Trump’s first Mideast peace proposal included renaming Jerusalem’s Temple Mount…

Everyone needs a friend, or at least one person who will pick you up at the airport or pay a ransom to a Nigerian prince. Making new friends is never easy. However, there are ways to make the process easier. …

Real quick thoughts · If someone can read tea leaves or Tarot cards, should we assume they can also read a rental car agreement? · Never go to a discount therapist who shows you his perspiration stain and asks, “What’s the first thing that comes to your mind?” · Think…

Real quick thoughts · I don’t mind being a celebrity, although sometimes I wish my groupies would help me fold my sheets at the laundromat. · Before I die, I want to see how sausage is made. · If you capture everyone’s hearts, are you obligated to release at least…

Real quick thoughts · I don’t think my parents disliked me. They simply forgot to tell me where they lived. · There are so many sexual preferences nowadays. I’ve finally decided I’m a man trapped inside an ambivalent body. · Never mistake a knowing glance for an overconfident stare. I…