I believe anything I read or hear that includes the words “experts say.” I trust all experts, even ones wearing propeller beanies. Why? According to Randall Gasket, chairman of the Kalamazoo Community College Department of Hipster Studies, “What’s not to believe?” When writers, authors and Tik Tok-ers quote experts, they…

Hail everyone. Well, the big story this week has been the fall of the Roman Empire. I would’ve heard about it sooner, but I was in the communal toilet extricating myself from a bad dish of lamb’s brain. There’s no stability in the government. How bad is it? Three of…

Welcome to the show! Have you run into any of these people calling themselves Pilgrims who recently landed here in a boat called the Mayflower? Talk about a clueless crew. No “Hello,” no “How are you?” Just “How do we grow corn?” They didn’t teach you that in Pilgrim 101? …

Welcome to the show! I’m sure you’ve all heard about this new thing called the telephone. It’s a machine that actually allows you to talk with another person at another location. It’s kind of like smoke signals that don’t sting your eyes. I could really use one of these. My…

Good evening. Did you hear about the guy in Mesopotamia who invented something called the wheel? It’s a round wooden disk that he claims will make life less unbearable. Hey, if it can stop my wife from complaining about being eaten alive by wild animals, I’m all for it. They…

Real quick thoughts · Being able to hold in gas during your wedding vows should be considered a super power. · If one person is talking on the phone while having sex, is it considered a threesome? · Being on the second-string team is still better than being on the…

The steady stream of books written about Donald J. Trump continue to shock and amaze a public now accustomed to being shocked and amazed. Here are a few more mind-boggling facts that, let’s face it, probably won’t surprise you. · Trump’s first Mideast peace proposal included renaming Jerusalem’s Temple Mount…

Everyone needs a friend, or at least one person who will pick you up at the airport or pay a ransom to a Nigerian prince. Making new friends is never easy. However, there are ways to make the process easier. …

Real quick thoughts · If someone can read tea leaves or Tarot cards, should we assume they can also read a rental car agreement? · Never go to a discount therapist who shows you his perspiration stain and asks, “What’s the first thing that comes to your mind?” · Think…