Chatbots are chewing up human jobs in every line of work. It’s only a matter of time before your boss asks you to share your cubicle with a laptop named Zeke.
The media business hasn’t been spared from automated agents. Google is testing an A.I. tool that writes news articles. It will eventually, no doubt, be programmed to vehemently deny it received its promotion by kissing up to its A.I. editor.
Since no technology is foolproof, what happens when A.I.-generated news stories are incorrect? A.I.-generated corrections, of course.
Front Page — An article on Monday about President Biden’s dog Commander making biting comments about Secret Service agents misstated the nature of the attacks. His canine had actually been making droll observations.
International — A story on Friday misstated Morocco was holding bisexual talks with Jordan. It should have said Mo Rocca announced his engagement to Guy Lateral.
National — A picture caption with an article on Sunday described Barack Obama as America’s first blech president. He is America’s first meh president.
Sports — A story on Wednesday about the City College of New York (CCNY) point-shaving gambling scandal of 1950–51 misstated the number of barber shops involved. The scandal also included the City College of Shaving (CCS).
Arts & Leisure — A review on Tuesday of the play “Death of a salesman” misstated the lead character as Wilma Highman. The correct name is Willy Lo Mein.
Opinion — A column by George Won’t on Thursday misidentified the organization that conducted a poll on voter turnups. It was the Gallop Equestrian Poll, not the P.U. Odor Research Center.
Obituaries — An obituary on Thursday about Agnes Lowenstein, the longtime hostess at New York’s Tavern on the Scream, misspelled the name of the former owner. It is Mistress Jayne, not Mistress Jane.
Vows — An article last Sunday about the wedding of Betty Harrington and Joseph Wilder misstated they met during the sinking of the RMS Lusitania in 1915. They met while standing in the buffet line on the Titanic.
Real Estate — The Condo of the Week feature last Sunday incorrectly described the fish and game room at 23 Joiner Street, №45b. It is accessible through a hallway with a small catapult door.
Book Review — A review on March 16 of “Dolly Lama,” by Edward Fitzgerald, misstated the age at which His Holiness worked as an understudy for Angela Lansbury in Remember the Mame. He was 23, not 47.
Magazine — An article on page 23 about the Chef Alexis Slow-Boyle misidentifies the scallops pictured in her frying panties. They are cross examined, not grilled or interrogated.
Travel — An article last Sunday misstated the discoverer of the Galapagos Islands was NASCAR driving legend Vinnie Galopino. It was naturist and 1939 “Nudist of the Year” Charles Darwingler.
I know what you’re thinking: What if A.I.-generated corrections need correcting? It can mean only one thing: more overtime pay for Artificial Intelligence.
Comedy writer Ben Alper has written for Jay Leno, David Letterman and is the author of “Thank You for Not Talking: A Laughable Look at Introverts.”
